Bad Luck for Bad Luck?
by imayb1
Summary: Shuichi is given a tarot reading as a New Year's gift. Will bad luck follow? Eiri x Shuichi. Complete.
1. Shinnenkai Party

Disclaimer: Fairly standard. I'm borrowing Gravitation characters from Maki Murakami for fanfics and fun. Gravitation is shonen-ai and for that reason, (and a bit of swearing) this gets a PG-13 rating. I appreciate all criticism, so please read, enjoy, and review. 

**Author Notes:** This is (more-or-less) a continuation of my previous fic 'Authors Have Parties, Too?' but it does stand alone. This is set after the series, so there are likely to be spoilers. Hmm. Another reflexive question title . . . go figure.

**Bad Luck for Bad Luck?**

Part 1: Shinnenkai Party

Although Shuichi's natural state of being was 'hyper', Eiri thought he surpassed that today. The writer sat back in the booth, stretching his legs out, sideways across the bench and resting his left arm across the top of the seats' back rest. He tapped ashes into the tray on the table, watching his pink-haired lover with a small, amused smile. Package bows and curly ribbons obscured the kid's actual hair. It had been Noriko's idea to stick all the package decorations to Shuichi's head and the idiot hadn't protested. No, he'd made fun of himself, pretending to be girly and giggly. Then Ryuichi had gotten into the act, covering his head and that of the stuffed pink rabbit, Kumagorou. It was catching, too. Hiro and Shuichi were laughing about something. When Bad Luck's long-haired guitarist turned, Eiri could see he had acquired strings of ribbons in his hair, too.

Between concerts, family visits, vacations, and scheduling conflicts, this group of friends hadn't been able to get together during Shogatsu for a Shinnenkai party. 1 Instead of January first, they were having a late New Year's festival on January 21st. and everyone had gathered at this jazz bar to celebrate. Mika had rented the place out for the night, bankrolling the private event. She and Tohma sat apart from the bow-madness, as he did. Eiri thought the three of them were like the adult chaperones for a group of chaotic children, revved up on birthday cake and sugar.

The youngest person in the room was actually Suguru Fujisaki at eighteen years old. He acted far more mature than Tatsuha's nineteen, or Shu's twenty-one years. Ryuichi, physically the eldest at thirty-three; was the youngest, mentally, at a generous estimate of six years old. Even Noriko, who was only a couple of years younger than Ryuichi, sat on the floor playing with toys like the rest of them— and she had a little girl of her own at home. Bad Luck's tall, blond manager, K-san, stood over the 'children'. He laughed encouragingly at their antics, but did not participate.

All of Shuichi's close friends (and coincidentally, Eiri's) were present with one exception. . . Bad Luck's producer, Sakano-san had not come to the party. Eiri thought it was unusual for the man to miss any occasion where all three of Bad Luck's band members had attended. Setting his cigarette on the ashtray's ledge, Eiri grabbed his beer and took a drink. There was a squeal from the 'children's area' and the bow-sticking degenerated into a wrestling match between Shuichi and Hiro. Eiri chuckled quietly. Shu didn't really have a chance. Hiro was stronger and taller. Eiri knew from experience that pinning Shu was not a challenge. Then Ryuichi joined the fray on Shuichi's side, evening things up. Where Ryu went, Tatsuha followed . . . and the tide turned. Eiri laughed out loud.

He saw his sister, Mika, and his brother-in-law, Tohma turn toward him in bald-faced surprise. _Okay, so I'm not the jolliest guy in the world, _he thought_, but they're looking at me like I've been replaced by an alien, or something!_ Eiri twirled his beer bottle on the table, idly, reflecting. It had been a while since he'd laughed. He was really enjoying himself today. He had finished his book off yesterday and promptly turned it in to Mizuki, his editor. He was satisfied with the ending and felt accomplished for completing it on time. Shuichi . . . was really happy. His lover's attitude was probably the biggest factor in determining Eiri's own happiness, he admitted privately. He switched from the beer back to his smouldering cigarette.

Hiro had lost the battle. The 'children' were picking themselves up off the floor and straightening their disheveled clothes. Mika was stabbing out her cigarette and Tohma collected the couple's coats. Eiri glanced at the clock with its neon blue circle. It was almost eleven pm. No wonder they were leaving. "Good night, Eiri," Mika said, passing his table. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Talk? That was news to him. He knew they hadn't planned to speak together . . . still, he had made an offer for her to call on him if she needed anything. Eiri knew things were not going well between his sister and her husband, but he felt it wasn't any business of his. Still, Eiri nodded to her and said, "Good night."

After collecting a pair of bags, filled with gifts to take home, Tohma came up beside Mika and echoed, smilingly, "Good night, Eiri-san." The two stepped over to the table with the cake and told everyone good bye and a final, "Happy New Year" before making their exit. It was a cue for the departures to start. Suguru said good bye and collected his things, as did K, who would be driving the keyboardist home. Tatsuha and Ryuichi also gathered presents up and said good bye, waving to Eiri on their way out. He waved back to his brother and Tatsuha winked at him on his way out the door. Eiri snorted. _Letcher_, he thought.

It was amazing how the volume level of the room dropped with Ryuichi gone. Noriko collected some cake before she left, claiming it was 'for her family' who couldn't come tonight. Soon, only Hiro, Shuichi, and he, were left.

"Looks like I should go, too, Shuichi," Hiro said. Eiri could hear across the room now.

"Okay. Happy New Year, Hiro!" Shuichi hugged him unabashedly.

Hiro patted his friend's back. "You, too, Shuichi. I'll see you Monday." The guitarist scooped up his motorcycle helmet and a box of smaller gifts. He waved to Eiri and called, "'Bye." Eiri held up the hand with the cigarette in acknowledgement.

Shuichi picked gift wrap out of his hair, dropping it on the table with the cake. Then he came over to his lover. Eiri pulled back his long legs, dropping one to the floor and crossing the other in front of him so that Shu could join him. The singer did, invading Eiri's personal space by wiggling close and resting his head on Eiri's chest.

"If you're going to do that, then let me stretch my leg out again." Obediently, Shu slid back off the seat, accommodating Eiri and then snuggling into him again. Eiri took his arm off the back of the seat and wrapped it around the younger man's shoulders. "Good party?" He questioned rhetorically. Shuichi was still grinning.

"Um-hm! I like spending time with everyone. It was so much fun! I got some nice gifts, and everyone else seemed to like what we gave them, too. I like the way Americans get to open presents in front of others. It's fun to see people's reactions, isn't it?" 2 Eiri had to admit to being amused when Tohma unwrapped the pink, faux-leopard-skin car seat covers Shuichi had given him for New Years. His polite smile had been strained and Mika had snickered openly. Shu's brows drew together in a momentary frown. "Eiri, did it seem to you that Seguchi-san were . . . weird, tonight?" 3

"Yeah. Mika said she wants to talk tomorrow."

"Really?" Shuichi asked. "I wonder what's going on." Eiri shrugged.

The bartender started to approach them. He looked tired. Eiri stuck his cigarette in his mouth and waved to him. "Shuichi," Eiri tapped his back and let go of him. "It's time for us to go, too. They want to close the place."

"Oh! Right." Shu popped up onto his knees, facing Eiri, and kissed him. "Thanks for being here," he said sincerely.

"Idiot. This wasn't so bad." To his surprise, Eiri meant it. He had considered avoiding the public party, and keeping Shuichi at home for a private party of their own . . . but Tohma and Mika would never forgive him for skipping out on this. Shu's friends had been expecting him, too. Everyone had been holding on to New Year's gifts for nearly a month, waiting for the official party.

Shu gave Eiri a big smile and stood up next to the table. "There have been a lot of parties you couldn't come to. I'm when we can be at these things together." The kid beamed at him, saying brightly, "I love you!" Shuichi didn't wait a response from Eiri that wasn't likely to come. Instead, the kid turned, and went to gather up their gifts. Eiri was glad they were together, too. He picked up their coats from the other side of the booth and slipped his on.

He walked over to the center of the room. "Need any help?"

"Um. Can you get the rest of the cake? Tohma wanted you to have it."

"Figures," Eiri muttered. Aloud, he said, "Yeah. Put this on first, then pick up your stuff." Eiri held out Shuichi's coat. The singer nodded, and obeyed. Eiri grabbed the cake. Shuichi thanked the bartender personally. Tohma had taken care of the bill, so they left.

The two of them had certainly been given a lot of gifts. Once outside, Eiri hit the key fob to pop the trunk open and unlock the doors. With a click and a pop, the trunk sprang open, shining its light into the darkness of the street. Eiri's breath fogged in the January air as he waited for Shuichi to load their things into the car. Eiri decided to put the cake on the backseat. It would only be smashed by presents rolling around the trunk if he put it in there. Shuichi shut the trunk, climbed into the passenger seat and buckled up. Eiri noted that even the singer's sighs sounded happy tonight. He climbed into the driver's seat and started the car. Shuichi was staring at him with a big mischievous grin, a slight blush, and shining eyes. Eiri knew that look and his body responded. Evidently, his lover had planned on private party at home, too . . .

Shinnenkai New Year party.

1 Shogatsu is the New Year's holiday which generally consists of the first three days of the new year. It is Japan's most important holiday.

2 For some of the cultural aspects of Japanese gift-giving: 

3 Japanese does not have a plural form, and adding an 's' to san makes it look like sans without. In this sentence, Seguchi-san refers to both Mika and Tohma.

Author's Note: And now, the stage is set. The actual plot starts to come out next chapter.

For those of you wondering about the change in edits: Shuichi's birthday is April 16th and this story was originally written before I knew that. ;


	2. Bad Premonition

Disclaimer: Fairly standard. I'm borrowing Gravitation characters from Maki Murakami for fanfics and fun. Gravitation is shonen-ai and for that reason, (and a bit of swearing) it gets a PG-13 rating. I appreciate all criticism, so please read, enjoy, and review. 

**Bad Luck for Bad Luck?**

Part 2: Bad Premonition

Eiri was sitting at the table, eating a granola bar, drinking tea, and smoking a cigarette for breakfast. He was also reading over his new contract with Never Ending Dream— the new romance division of Eiko Publishing. On Monday, he would have a lawyer look at it, but until then, he wanted to make sure all his latest stipulations were in place. He didn't want to deal with another Bad Luck biography thing. Shuichi sat across from him, slurping frosted cereal and reading the kids' games on the cereal box.

"Mmm. Eiri? Do you have any plans today?" Shu asked him, pausing for breath between bites.

He looked up. "Why?"

"'Cuz I want you to come with me."

Eiri narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Where?" He finished off his tea.

Shuichi looked down and one corner of his mouth quirked up. "Er . . . you know I had lunch with Maiko, yesterday . . ."

"Yes. What about her?"

"Well, she gave me a New Year's present. I want you to come with me." Shuichi still wasn't meeting his eyes. He looked very unsure of himself.

Eiri set his papers down. "Shuichi, where?"

Shu glanced up and looked back into his cereal bowl. In a small voice, he said, "to a tarot reading."

"A what? Did you say, 'tarot reading'?" Shuichi finally met his eyes, looking very sheepish. He nodded. Eiri rolled his eyes. "Ugh. I thought your little sister was more practical than to believe in witches and ghoulies!" Eiri made sure to sound extra derisive. He was sure that nothing good could come from Shuichi visiting some two-bit crank with a deck of cards. He crushed his cigarette into the ashtray, blowing smoke.

"Eiri! I want to go! Maiko said it'd be fun. She's been to see this lady before and—"

"Ridiculous!" Eiri interrupted. He put the granola bar wrapper into his teacup. He picked up the cup in one hand, held the contract in the other, and stood up from their two-seater table in the kitchen.

"Eiri, please?" Shuichi whined. His chair scraped back as he stood. "It's only for a half-hour. Just come, please? Would it kill you to have a little fun?"

Eiri set his cup on the counter and tossed the granola bar wrapper into the trash. "I see no point in encouraging such nonsense. I wouldn't consider it _fun_, either. These kinds of crummy fortune tellers are thieves and tricksters." He waved his hand in dismissal, "they just put on a little show for some money and spew a bunch of nonsense about how you're cursed and if you just pay a little more, they'll be happy to get rid of the evil spirits around you." Eiri moved to his lover and put a hand on Shuichi's pouting face. "I'm sure Tatsuha would be happy to perform a blessing for you, if you're worried."

"That's not the point!" Shuichi declared, brushing Eiri's hand away. "It's a gift from Maiko and— "He cut himself off and looked up, grinning. _He's found a new angle_, Eiri realized. Shu's tone went sweet and he smiled as he said, "If they're all a bunch of crooks, then you should come along to protect me from my own stupidity, right?"

Eiri brushed past him. "No." The kid _was_ awfully gullible. It wouldn't take much to con the boy. When Eiri reached the door to the hallway, he turned around. Shuichi was standing in the kitchen doorway, watching him. Eiri pointed a finger at him in warning, calling, "Don't even think about going there alone, Bratt!"

Shuichi ran across the living room and tackled him, knocking him to the hallway floor and sitting in his lap. "Then you'll have to come with me," he said, reasonably. That logic was spoiled by his self-satisfied smirking.

Eiri sighed and set his contract aside. It slid across the wooden floor a little ways. "Idiot." Who else could he trust to send with Shuichi? Hiro, maybe . . . but Shu's friend often let the singer win arguments against his own better judgment, to make Shuichi happy. Eiri sighed and wondered if he was any better. "When?" He asked in defeat.

Shuichi hugged Eiri tightly, pinning his arms for a moment. The kid's hands trailed over Eiri's arms as he let go and answered, "Two o'clock? I can change the time, if— "

"Two is fine." It was about 9:30 right now. "Why do you do this to me?" He rubbed his forehead with one hand, brushing golden hair off his glasses.

Shu's eyes widened in innocence. "What?"

Eiri shook his head. "Nevermind. Let me up." Shuichi's lips latched onto his, taking him by surprise. One of Shu's hands pressed against his back while the fingers of his other hand crept into his hair. The kiss was strong and sweet. Eiri could still taste this morning's toothpaste on him. When Eiri sucked gently at Shuichi's lower lip, the singer moaned softly. Eiri pulled back and Shuichi opened blue-violet eyes that had fallen shut of their own volition. His smile practically sparkled. He moved in for more kissing and Eiri pushed him off, making him sprawl across the floor. "Keep that up and I won't get any work done today."

Shuichi pouted, propping his chin on his hands and watching his lover get to his feet. "That was kind of the point," he muttered.

"Don't you have something else to do?" Eiri growled, retrieving the papers from the floor.

"Not that I want to do," Shu responded promptly.

"At least find something to do until lunch time, okay?"

"Alright," Shu agreed. He flipped onto his back and stood in one rolling movement. Eiri watched him, covetously. He admired the way his lover's small body moved, and was proud the singer was his in every way that mattered. Shu noticed his hesitation and caught his eyes. "Are you sure you want to work right now?"

It was cajoling and it was not going to work! Eiri spun around and marched himself down the hall to his office, to force himself into getting some work done. He would temporarily cut off all thoughts of the tempting pop star outside the door. With luck (and a little self-control) Eiri could get an outline written for his next book. He had some ideas and he needed to lay them out before he started the real work.

---

A knock on the door interrupted the flow of words being channeled from Eiri's brain to typing fingers. A glance at the lower corner of the computer screen confirmed that it was exactly 12:30; officially lunch time. "Okay," he called. Eiri typed a couple more sentences to finish off his train of thought and saved his work. Reconsidering, he tapped in a few sentence fragments as notes to remind himself what he planned to do to his hapless characters next.

"Eiri? You said to not bother you until lunch time . . ."

"Yeah, yeah." He saved his work again and shut the computer down. When he opened the study door, Shuichi was waiting for him, leaning in the door frame.

"What do you want to do for lunch?" Shuichi had changed clothes. He had been wearing shorts and tank top this morning, but now he wore jeans and a black t-shirt. Whenever he wore black, the color seemed to emphasize the bright pink color of his hair.

Eiri pulled his glasses off and stowed them in his shirt pocket. The packet of cigarettes in his pocket crinkled like a reminder. Eiri pulled one out and stuck into his mouth, patting his pockets for his lighter.

"I'll get it," Shuichi offered. The kid squeezed past him and scampered over to the desk, collecting the lighter and returning like a happy puppy, fetching for his master.

Eiri accepted it with a grimace. Shuichi needed a new hobby. "You don't need to wait on me like that, you know." Sometimes Shuichi's single-minded devotion made him crazy. _Like now_, he thought. Other times, the writer wished his lover would ignore his friends and obligations to stay home with him. Sadly, that wasn't the case today. Perhaps it was a case of wanting the opposite of what he had?

Shuichi shrugged his small shoulders. "I know," he said negligently. He leaned his back against the wall, between the door and the bookcase, pressing his hands between his back and the wall. "Want to go out for lunch?"

He lit his cigarette and brushed one hand through his hair. He needed to have it cut again. "I'm not hungry."

Shu propelled himself off the wall and grabbed Eiri's hand, dragging him out of the study and into the hall. "Then just come with me to the café down the street. You can get a beer or something. I'll eat. There's nothing to eat here, except some cake and some pocky and rice, and last time I cooked rice, you got all upset, 'cuz I forgot and let the water boil too long. I scorched the pan, remember?"

"Yes." Eiri shook his hand loose and kicked off his slippers, aiming them at the foyer.

"So we can go? It's just a little walk and it's so nice today."

"Nice?" Eiri questioned. "It can't be more than 40 degrees!" 1

Shu pouted. "The sun is shining! Besides, we don't have to take the car to go somewhere— unless you want to?" Eiri shook his head 'no' and went to the bedroom to get socks. When he came back to the hallway, Shuichi was still talking to himself. He had put on a baggy, winter jacket of some indeterminate faded green color and was slipping his shoes on. A bold-striped fleece cap hid most of his distinctive pink hair and covered his ears. ". . . and after lunch, we'll still have time before two and we could go for ice cream! How does that sound?"

"Whatever." Eiri didn't get enthusiastic about ice cream when it was warm outside. He chose his black blazer from the closet and put on his black long coat over that. He checked his pockets to make sure his keys and wallet were still in the coat; they were. Shuichi bounded out of the door and Eiri followed, locking the apartment behind them. Shu went bouncing down the hall to press the button for the elevator and Eiri plodded after him, smoking serenely.

"You know, I think you really might be afraid to have fun," Shu told him as he stepped into the elevator. He shook his head in mock chagrin. "I try and try, but you almost never want to try new things. I know you said the tarot card lady is just a thief, but have you even considered that she might be for real? I mean, some people really can do incredible things with their minds, right?"

Eiri raised one eyebrow. "What kind of TV have you been watching, lately?"

Shu frowned at him. "You're not answering my questions. You're trying to change the subject." The elevator went down and pinged. When the doors slid back, Eiri strode ahead, pushing open the doors to the outside and heading down the sidewalk.

"No, I never considered that some thief might actually be able to tell the future by playing cards. Happy?" Shuichi jogged to keep up with him. It _was_ a nice day, in spite of the very crisp air. Eiri slipped his sunglasses on against the bright glare of sunlight.

"No! I— I mean, yes, because I'm with you, but why can't you accept— "

"Listen, kid, some people might be able to do incredible things with the talents they were born with, but I can't accept the idea that throwing bones or playing cards can tell anyone how the rest of his life will turn out! It's nonsense. You know I don't believe in fate, I've told you that before."

"Eiri, slow down, please? You walk so fast!" Eiri moderated his pace for Shuichi's sake. He had a bad feeling about this tarot thing. He hoped that the woman didn't tell Shu a bunch of foreboding crap. If Shu believed it, he'd get depressed and Eiri would have a mopey lover and a rotten week. He had to knock these ideas of 'real' fortune tellers out of the idiot's head. Unfortunately, an hour or so over lunch might not be long enough. He sighed, blowing smoke.

1 41 F 5 C

Author's Note: Eiri is expressing his own opinions about tarot and divination— it is not the same as my opinion. I actually read tarot, which is one of the reasons I thought this story would be fun.


	3. Tarot

Disclaimer: Fairly standard. I'm borrowing Gravitation characters from Maki Murakami for fanfics and fun. Gravitation is shonen-ai and for that reason, (and a bit of swearing) it gets a PG-13 rating. I appreciate all criticism, so please read, enjoy, and review. To those that review: THANK YOU! Your reviews ensure more chapters. :-D 

**Bad Luck for Bad Luck?**

Part 3: Tarot

Eiri had not been able to convince Shuichi that all divination is fraudulet and that all people who purported to be able to divine the future were shysters and hucksters. He had succeeded in making Shuichi mad. He was feeling pretty perturbed, himself. It had taken almost half an hour to get to the place. Shu's concept of time could be so . . . loose.

"There it is!" Shuichi yelled, pointing to the right.

"Okay. See any parking places?" This area was kind of run-down. He didn't really want to leave the Mercedes alone, here. Worse, he really didn't want to let Shuichi out of his sight in this neighborhood.

"N— wait, there's one! That white car's moving." Eiri frowned. Calling that rolling rust pile 'white' was a stretch, but Eiri flipped the turn signal on and waited for the other vehicle to move. He parallel parked with ease in front of a seedy-looking party store.

"Shu-chan," Eiri coaxed, "this is a really bad idea. Let's not do this." Shuichi was unmoved by his uncommon use of the nick name. The kid was still mad and frowning.

"Then just let me out and you can go home!" Shuichi yelled. He reached for the door handle and Eiri flipped the locks from the master controls. It made Shu hesitate.

"Idiot! Just look around at the neighborhood!"

Shu looked. "I see it," he said unhappily. He pulled the lock up, attempting to get out again.

Eiri sighed. They were already here. He climbed out, frowning. _I just hope my car will be safe, _Eiri thought._ This better not take longer than half an hour!_ Eiri pressed the door lock on the key fob. With one last look of misgiving, he caught up with Shuichi and they walked down the sidewalk.

The window front wasn't very inspiring. There was a large blue and white crystal ball painted on the glass and above it read, 'Tarot Readings, Divination'. The paint was flaking off in old crumbles. A hanging board of warped wood named the place, 'Mysticism and Magic'. The common plastic sign on the inside of the glass door read, 'OPEN' and below, in smaller letters; 'please come in'. Shuichi eagerly pulled on the door.

"Push," Eiri told him.

"Oh." Shuichi grinned at him apologetically and pushed the door, setting off chimes.

The incense in the little store was thicker than was usual for a temple! Shuichi coughed on it for a moment while Eiri looked around. Soft music played. It sounded like raindrops and harp. There was one section of a wall devoted to tarot cards and various kinds of divination toys— rune marked pebbles, bone chips, Ouija boards, you name it. Eiri had no idea that so many different types of tarot cards even existed! Next to those were candles of every kind; from tea lights, to tapers, to fancy multi-colored carved pillar-style monstrosities. A sign proclaimed that all of them were hand dipped and hand-crafted. The opposite wall had books and Eiri browsed the titles. 'Wiccan Wonders', 'Spells for Success', 'How to Contact the Spirits', etc. Eiri snorted. How hokey.

Shuichi was looking in a case at the back that displayed jewelry with crystals and semi-precious gems. Eiri walked toward Shu, noting the signs that admonished, 'shop lifting is bad karma.' What a bunch of useless trinkets and junk, he thought, looking at the shelves. Whoever thought that putting a magnet on an injury would heal it? The source of the incense was a set of no less than three sticks burning in front of a display with a wide variety of choices. Eiri went to Shu and leaned over him, to see what held his attention.

"Isn't that pretty?" He pointed to a silver wrist cuff with a blue stone set in the middle. Looking closely, he saw that each piece of jewelry had a little tags with printed information attached to them. He read the one Shu had pointed out: 'Alexandrite: Stimulates happiness and pleasant surprises, good fortune and success in speculative matters. Health Aids: Emotional balance.' 1

Eiri couldn't contain himself anymore. "Of all the superstitious bullshit!" He burst out. "Shuichi, this— !"

An older lady poked her head out of a doorway just beyond the counter and Eiri cut his words short. The woman had heard, because she shot Eiri a scathing glance. Shuichi used one finger to poke Eiri in the stomach with a frown of warning. "This way, dear," the lady said. She ushered a young girl back into the front of the shop from the doorway, guiding her past the counter. "Have a nice day, now."

The girl glanced at Eiri and Shu, turned and gushed, "Oh, thank you, grandmother," then left the store, beaming. 2 The chimes rang again and the door fell shut.

The old woman turned her smile on Shuichi. "Sorry to keep you waiting, gentlemen." She wasn't much to look at, Eiri thought. She was past middle-age but not yet elderly. She was short and overweight, without being really fat; just pudgy. She wore a white cotton blouse embroidered with blue symbols and a crinkly, ankle-length skirt of mottled blue colors. Sandals peeked out from beneath her hem. She wore some golden-brown beads at her neck and wrist. "Do you see something you like?" She asked Shuichi. She had a very plain face, Eiri decided; dark eyes and average features surrounded by black hair fading to grey and straying from its bun. She looked . . . peaceful.

"Uh, I'm Shindou Shuichi. I called— "

"Oh, yes. You're my two o'clock, aren't you?" She smiled warmly. "And this is your friend. Won't you come in?" She pointed to the back room she had come from. Eiri thought it odd that she didn't introduce herself, or ask for his name.

Shuichi turned his head, smiling at him as if to say, 'See! She's not so bad.' Eiri wanted to groan. He followed Shu to their appointed place. The back of the shop was a tiny room with three other doors. Directly to the right was one marked 'Storage' and just beyond that was 'Toilet', the third was straight ahead and its sign read 'Exit'. To the left, there was a little table with a vibrant blue table cloth and a worn-looking deck of cards. There were only two chairs. Next to the table was a small refrigerator and cupboard. Above that, was a counter with a hot plate and a teapot. Apparently, it doubled as the employee break room— if this dump had any other employees besides the old woman.

Shuichi sat and Eiri stood behind him like a bodyguard. He lit a cigarette and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Would either of you boys like some tea?" The woman offered.

"No, thank you," Shu said. Eiri let his look speak for him.

The lady nodded and took her seat opposite her gull. She smiled again. "I guess I'll just get straight to it, then," she said with at glance in Eiri's direction. Shu looked up at Eiri with another warning look. Eiri wasn't any good at portraying innocence, so he didn't try. He rolled his eyes at Shuichi. The lady shuffled the cards with practiced hands. She stopped and held them out to Shu. "Please choose the card that represents you, and place it in the center of the table," she instructed. The kid pulled a card that had the kanji for 'Lovers' and a picture of a naked man and woman entwined. Eiri would have guessed Shuichi was more the 'Fool'.

The woman pulled the deck back in front of her and laid the 'Sun' cross-wise over the lovers. It was all golden colored and showed a golden-haired boy running under the gleaming, smiling sun. One brow raised and she swept her eyes over both of them, meaningfully. "You're a fortunate young man, Shindou-san, to have such a strong relationship." Shuichi gave her a small, nervous laugh. She just smiled, placidly. "Is there a question about your future that you seek an answer to?" She asked, laying out another card.

"No. Not really . . . I just . . ." Shuichi fidgeted, twisting in the chair.

"That's fine," she reassured. "This card is beneath you— it represents the tools you use to confront adversity." Below the crossed cards, here was the 'Fool', with a picture of a jester in motley. She made a 'tsk' sound. "Plowing through obstacles without consideration for the consequences can be dangerous," she chided gently. "This is above you," she continued, setting a card above the lovers and the sun. "Your goals, if you like." She laid out a card with a blue and green globe of the Earth. It had the kanji for 'world'. "Lofty goals," she commented. "You must be a very important person, Shindou-san. There are a lot of major arcana already in this reading. I'm sorry to say, I've never heard your name before today, though." Her brow wrinkled a little, as if she thought she should know him. What an act, Eiri thought, depreciatingly.

"I'm a singer," Shuichi volunteered. "You, uh, probably don't listen to much pop music," he said. That was extremely likely, considering the birdsong and harp music that played now.

"Ah." Her face cleared. "You're right; I don't." She laid down a card picturing the back of someone bound and naked, surrounded by swords. It had the number eight at the top, but it was upside-down. "This is your past. Hm. This card is opposition, violence, treachery, crisis, and blindness of circumstance or of self. A turbulent past for such a young man."

"Uh, yeah. I guess so," he replied. Eiri couldn't see Shu's expression, but he laid one hand on the singer's slumping shoulders. There was no need for him to get upset over some old lady's stupid card game.

She laid another card, opposite the swords on the other side of the lovers and the sun, forming a rough 'plus-shaped' pattern. "This is yet to come." She tapped the card with a plain, pudgy finger. It showed a skeleton holding a black flag that read, 'Death'. Shuichi squeaked and grabbed Eiri's hand when the card was placed. The lady looked at Shu with a faint smile. "Don't be alarmed. It doesn't necessarily mean death. . . It is a card representing change. It signifies an end, but often a rebirth, too, just as with life."

She turned back to the deck in her hands, flipping one over to the right of the sword card. "Here is . . . the Emperor?" She looked up at Eiri. "So you are the decision-maker and his anchor." He took his hand back from Shu, self-consciously. The old woman nodded to herself. "That makes sense, too. Creative people always need someone to counter their own . . . exuberance." She grinned at Shuichi, showing aged teeth. Her eyes crinkled up in wrinkles.

'The Chariot' was next. The card depicted a Roman-looking man in profile, aboard a cart pulled by one black and one white horse. The chariot looked like it was being driven toward the Emperor. "You must do a lot of traveling, Shindou-san." He nodded. She tapped the card, "this also tells me that you work hard to reach your goals." Whatever she saw in Shu's face confirmed her guess. Eiri folded his arms across his chest again and leaned against the wall beside Shu._ I should have stood here all along_, Eiri thought. From here, he could see Shuichi's face, the old woman's cards and her hands— just in case she had switches or tricks under the tablecloth.

A blue and silver 'Star' was laid, upside-down above the chariot. It pictured a naked woman drinking water from a pool with her hands. "This represents your hopes and fears. You are inspirational to others but unsure of your life's purpose." She smiled again. "That's very common for someone so young and energetic." Eiri snorted quietly. She had no idea. Shu glanced over at him. His eyes were shining happily now.

"One more card," the old woman said, encouragingly. She set it on the tablecloth above the star. The picture showed catastrophe. There was a tower of black bricks and it was on fire. Clouds obscured the sky. One person was burning as he fell through the sky and another person was impaled on a pike at the ground. "Oh, my. This is the outcome card, or the future." Shuichi's face clouded. _Oh_ _shit_, Eiri thought. He glared at the woman. "I don't choose the cards," she said defensively, catching his look. "I only turn them over and tell you what they mean!" Her lips thinned and she set the rest of the deck in front of her.

She turned a very sympathetic look on Shuichi. "Shindou-san, I'm sorry, to give you such unfortunate news, but it looks as if hard times are ahead. This card," she pointed the tower, "represents calamity. It portends of disaster from an outside source; something outside your control," she added, flicking a glance toward Eiri. "There will be bad luck all around you for a while, but there is often a good outcome. Like the death card," she gestured to it, explaining, "these tell of great change in your future." She paused. Narrowing her eyes in speculation, she pinned Eiri with her dark gaze and said, "It will be change in your future, also."

She sighed, offering him an explanation. "The two of you came together. You are both named in this reading." She tapped the lovers' card. "You are both important to each other, as well as important in a greater sense, else there would not be so many major arcana." She took the stack of unused cards and spread them into a fan, face up. "You see, Shindou-san? There are only twenty one major arcana, but a total of ninety-six cards in the deck! The major arcana shown here," she swept one hand over the pattern she'd made for Shu, "are significant." She sat back in her chair, shaking her head and looking worried. "I hate to give bad news, gentlemen."

It sounded like a dismissal. Eiri stood away from the wall. He wanted to get out of here before the lady started scaring Shu with more bad omens or trying to sell him junk like magic powder against bad dreams. "Don't worry about it, old woman," he told her. "Shuichi?"

"Yeah." He stood up, looking like he'd just seen someone kick a puppy.

The old woman stood, too. "If there's anything else I can do for you, let me know. You seem like a nice young man, much like your sister." She smiled, gesturing to the doorway. "Your reading is all paid for. Happy New Year."

"Um. Thanks," he said. He went through the doorway and Eiri caught the old woman murmuring a prayer against evil. How odd, he thought. Shuichi had stopped to look at some metal-and-glass pyramid trinket on a shelf. A cardboard note next to it advertised, 'brings good luck into the home!' Eiri put one hand on Shuichi's back to steer him out of the shop.

"Good day," the old woman called.

Shuichi tried to turn, but Eiri put pressure on him to keep moving. The kid settled for waving and Eiri said, "Good bye." It remained to be seen whether the rest of day would actually be a good one. He was relieved to see that his Mercedes was unmolested. Now they could go home and Eiri would deal with any mental 'fallout' from Shu. _At least he didn't cry over it,_ Eiri consoled himself.

1 From "Gems of Wisdom" by Charlene Witaker.

2 This is just a polite way of addressing an elder— not necessarily a family member. The Japanese would probably use, "Ojii-san" to be respectful. Eiri would likely use the less-than-respectful term, "Ba-baa" meaning old woman, or even hag. We don't really have the same distinction in English.

Author's Note: About the tarot-- The layout I used here is a basic "Celtic Cross" pattern. There are a bunch of different ways to do a layout, but I prefer this one for a general reading. If you disagree with the details, that's up to you. This is how I learned and how I do it. Everyone's interpretation of cards is different, too. Also, I happened to be using the Rider-Waite deck for reference, but the old woman's cards are conceptions of the cards' meanings, more than direct examples from a particular kind of deck. Artistic license on my part. :-D

Okay, I admit it— my flaky side shows through in this chapter. blush


	4. Fallout

Disclaimer: Fairly standard. I'm borrowing Gravitation characters from Maki Murakami for fanfics and fun. Gravitation is shonen-ai and for that reason, (and a bit of swearing) it gets a PG-13 rating. I appreciate all criticism, so please read, enjoy, and review. To those that review: THANK YOU! 

**Bad Luck for Bad Luck?**

Part 4: Fallout

Shuichi was quiet while they drove. He had a look on his face like he did when he was puzzling through a new set of song lyrics. It was frustration, determination, and thoughtfulness. Eiri winced. He hoped Shu was thinking about song lyrics, but he doubted it.

"Eiri, could you drop me off at Hiro's?" Shu asked quietly.

"Why?" Eiri countered.

"Well, because you don't want to talk about the tarot reading. I want to talk to someone about it. I don't want to make you mad, and you probably want to get more writing done anyway, right?"

All of that was true, but it made him feel a little jilted. "You could call him."

Shu blinked at him. "You want me to stay with you today?"

"Keh. Bratt, do what you want to do!" He said. He hated being seen as needy. Here he was again— wanting the opposite thing. Right now, he wanted Shu to be with him and Shu wanted to go. If Shu stayed with him, he'd drive Eiri crazy and he would want the kid to leave. Eiri's own inconsistency annoyed him.

Shu smiled and reached out to stroke Eiri's arm. Then Shu leaned over, resting his head on Eiri's arm for a moment. "Okay. Let's go home." Eiri was strangely mollified by that simple statement.

---

Once inside, Eiri kicked off his shoes and took off his coat, opening the closet. Shuichi asked, "You could perform a blessing, couldn't you? You said Tatsuha could, but so could you, right?"

Eiri hung his coat up and raised one eyebrow, removing the cigarette from his mouth and blowing smoke. "Idiot. I said Tatsuha would be willing." He pulled the baseball cap from his lover's head and tossed it onto the shelf above the coats.

"Oh," Shu said, crestfallen. The kid shrugged out of his jacket and put it away.

"Come here." Eiri pulled Shuichi into his arms. "Don't get all upset over this game. Maybe this lady wasn't a thief, but I don't let it rattle my world view. She was still just— "

Shuichi wrapped his arms around him, cutting him off and arguing, "But, she was so right about— "

"About half the population! Shuichi, everyone has something bad in the past, everyone has big goals, and change comes to everyone. They're all just truisms that can fit virtually anyone. You can't take this crap literally."

Shuichi snuggled into him, contentedly. "You smell good," he said.

"Idiot. You're the one who wanted to talk about this shit, now— "

"I did!" Shuichi kept his arms locked around Eiri, but turned so they could face each other. "You're the one who didn't want to discuss it! So I thought I'd change the subject! I'll just call Hiro later and— Hey!"

At the mention of Hiro, Eiri pulled away and broke Shu's grip on him. "Nevermind! Go ahead and talk to him now." Eiri had been making an effort to do what Shu wanted, and look what it got him. Eiri promised himself he was not jealous his lover would rather talk to his best friend than with a cranky writer. Heh! Normally, Eiri couldn't get the singer to shut up. He should be grateful. If the kid was busy yapping to Hiro, then Eiri could do some work.

"No! I want to be with you, now!" Shuichi stubbornly cinched his arms around Eiri's waist from behind as the writer tried to retreat to his office.

"Let go, pest!" Eiri tried to pry Shu off, but wasn't very successful.

"No! Eeiiiirrrriiii," the kid whined, collapsing to his knees behind Eiri. "What did I do wrong? One minute, you're hugging me and the next, you're pushing me away! You bastard!" The tears began. Eiri could feel his shirt soaking them up where Shu's face was pressed against his lower back.

"Stop it!! Ugh!" He tipped his head back in resignation. "Alright," he said, "What do you want to do?" The tears stopped just as quickly as they'd come. Shuichi had positively mercurial changes of mood.

"You mean it?" Shu sniffled. _Yuck_, Eiri thought, _I want to change my shirt_.

"Just let me smoke," he stipulated. The last time he'd made a hasty offer to do what the kid wanted, Shu had made a request for Eiri to go a whole day without smoking. He'd made it for almost half a day . . .

"Can we go to Kyoto?"

"WHAT?" Eiri turned around to look at Shuichi. All he could see was pink hair.

"I'm scared of bad luck," Shu said in a small voice. "A blessing has to be done in a temple, right?" He looked so vulnerable.

Eiri frowned. "No." This wasn't at all what he wanted to do with his time today.

"Is Tatsuha still in town?"

"You seriously want to do this?" He questioned. He crouched down and lifted Shuichi's chin, forcing the singer to look at him. Shuichi nodded. "Fine. You call Tatsuha on his cell, or try Ryuichi's place."

"You'll do it?"

Eiri gritted his teeth. "Tatsuha and I can do this for you. Hopefully, he hasn't gone home yet."

"Yay! Okay!" Shuichi danced his way into the living room, spinning and hooray-ing. Presumably, that was the last place he'd left his phone.

Eiri went into the study to gather stuff for the ceremony. From a box on the bookshelf, he pulled out prayer beads. He fingered the strand of 108 small beads which represented the desires or hindrances that must be extinguished for enlightenment to occur. The four smaller beads were for the Bodhisattvas from the Lotus Sutra: Limitless Practice, Superior Practice, Steadily Established Practice, and Pure Practice. The two large beads were the Buddha and the Bodhisattva, or the 'Father' and the 'Mother'.

_This is ludicrous_, Eiri thought. _Tatsuha and I are such unworthy monks_. _We are so full of sin, and we're going to say the sutras of blessing . . . for my Shuichi. _It was a very odd feeling. It would be an improper ritual, at best, but if it would give Shuichi peace of mind, it was worth it, wasn't it? The whole objective of Buddhist teaching was to clear the mind, seek peace and enlightenment. The duty of a monk was to help others to reach peace through prayer and ceremony by focusing awareness toward purity of thought and deed. Eiri scratched his head. He was not used to combining his past and present. Kyoto and the temple, his monk training, all those were part of a past he occasionally stepped into when he went back home. His present was life as a writer, in modern Tokyo, with Shuichi. _Only for you, Shu-chan. You're the only one I would go to the trouble of doing this for._

Eiri sighed and wondered if Shuichi could keep himself still for half an hour while he was awake. –Or sleeping, for that matter. Last night, the kid had stolen the covers again, rolling and twisting. The chanted blessings weren't very exciting, but what good did it do if he didn't pay attention? A sutra in a horse's ear, Eiri thought. 1 Maybe it was an exercise in futility, but . . . he wanted to help Shu. Eiri rested his head against the bookshelf and groaned, suddenly realizing that with Tatsuha would come Ryuichi . . .

---

Eiri was lighting three sticks of incense, kneeling in front of the altar in the living room when the phone rang. The incense was an act of purification and an offering to respect to the Three Treasures; Buddha, Dharma, Sangha. The familiar scent that he associated with being in the temple helped him clear his mind. The altar was prepared.

Shuichi grabbed the phone, saying, "Shindou, here. Yes, Mika-san, hang on . . ." The singer brought the phone over to Eiri and held it out. He frowned. He didn't want to talk to his sister right now. He was trying to achieve a semblance of mental focus for this. He snatched the phone. "What?" He stood and walked into the kitchen with the phone to avoid any noise from Shuichi and any incoming distractions. He kicked the door shut behind him.

"Eiri, you sound like your usual sunny self." Her sarcasm was sharp enough to cut.

"Mika . . ."

She sighed. "Eiri, I want to talk with you. Are you busy?"

"Actually, I am." Should he bother to explain? She'd probably hear about it from Tatsuha, or from Tohma, through Ryuichi— if she and Tohma were still on speaking terms, that is. "I'm about to perform a blessing."

There was silence from her end. Then, "Here in Tokyo? You're serious?"

"Unfortunately." He heard a chair scrape and a small sigh of sound, like she'd just sat down.

"What's going on?" She didn't sound as if she was honestly interested; more like he'd surprised her.

In a fit of temper, he said, "I don't have to explain myself to you! What do you want?!"

"You bastard! You're so selfish! You're the one who offered to— "Mika choked back a sob, but her voice came out in a quaver. "Never mind. I won't bother you with my trivial problems!"

"Mika, wait." He cringed. He had offered to listen. It had been a while since he'd made the offer, but he hadn't given it with a time limit and he remembered the spirit of confidance between them when he'd made it. So now, he upheld that. He forced himself to continue. "Right now is a bad time," he temporized. "Do you want to come over later, or we could have dinner . . .?" When did I become so damn soft, he wondered.

Her voice sounded teary. "It's about 3:30 now; I'll be there around five." He heard her mutter, "screw Tohma," just before the phone clicked off. That last had sounded _really_ pissed off. Wonderful, Eiri thought. _I guess I should be thankful that her wrath isn't directed at me_. He pushed the kitchen door open, back to its usual 'open' position. Shuichi wasn't in the living room, but he could hear voices from the hall.

Tatsuha walked into the living room, sneaking a glance over his shoulder. There was giggling behind him. "Aniki," Tatsuha greeted him. "I know Shuichi-kun is very serious about this, but you . . .?"

Eiri nodded and pointed to the tiered stone altar with its burning incense. At the top, there was a small, pure gold statue of a meditative Buddha, for meditative focus; a wooden stand with two plaques-- one for the ancestors who support their descendants' road to enlightenment and one for the blessings of nature; a candle, for the light of wisdom; a bell, as a reminder to focus on the moment; a wooden block, the sound that urges one to elevate his goals; fruit, rice, and water for sustenance and life. A vase of fresh flowers represented hearts open to beauty and the impermanence of all things. Eiri had spent a little time in contemplation as he prepared the altar. For a wonder, Shu had been quiet and watchful while he did it.

Tatsuha's eyebrows rose, noting his brother's seriousness, he laughed, deeply and heartily. "You are so smitten! All those years you teased me . . ."

"Shut up," Eiri said tersely. "Are we going to do this?"

His dark-haired brother shrugged, tapering his laughter down to a chuckle. "Sure." He held his hands together in prayer, saying, "it's our duty to help those who— "

"Yeah. I know the drill," Eiri told him. "It isn't exactly proper, but the spirit—"

Tatsuha gave him a sly half-grin. "I know the drill, brother. I also know you would never do this for anyone else. Shuichi said this was over a warning of bad luck from a tarot reading? I'm surprised you went along with it."

Eiri ground his teeth. Avoiding Tatsuha's needling, he called in the two energetic pop stars, ordered them to sit on the couch, to be quiet, and to behave. Every part of the ceremony, including altar preparation should be done with full awareness and knowledge. Worshipers must pay attention to what is being offered, or asked for during a blessing, or there was no meaning in it.

Ryuichi seemed to be very intimidated by Eiri, but fell asleep after about ten minutes of staring at Tatsuha and maintaining a state of inactivity. Either Tatsuha had been keeping him awake too long, or the singer simply could not be still and be conscious for more than ten minutes at a time. Maybe it was a combination of the two? Well, the ceremony wasn't for him, anyway. Shuichi fidgeted, but sat, more-or-less patiently through the chanting.

When they finished, Eiri stood. Shuichi jumped up and hugged him. "Thanks, lover," he whispered. Those words filled him with warmth. It was almost better than hearing him say, 'I love you'. Eiri didn't feel he had truly earned the latter, but he could accept thanks for helping to set Shu's mind at ease with a blessing. He felt peaceful. The recitation of the darani 2 had centered his mind and given him a temporary feeling of clarity and well-being.

Eiri hugged Shu back. "Feel better?"

"Actually, I do." Shu sounded surprised. Tatsuha chuckled and Shu turned to hug him, too. "Thanks," he told the other monk. "I'm grateful you came over."

"No problem." Tatsuha's perpetual smirk disappeared. Very seriously, he rested one hand on Shu's shoulder, saying, "You make aniki happy. Anyone who knows him can see how much he loves you."

Eiri lit a cigarette, letting his hair fall forward to cover his reactions. When he looked up and brushed his hair back, Shu was looking at him, grinning. _So cute. _Eiri's mind volunteered this bit of information without any prompting or conscious effort from him. It was just fact. Shuichi was cute, the sky was blue . . . He blew smoke out in a long stream. His eyes strayed from Shu to Tatsuha, who was waking Ryuichi up by tickling him.

Eiri held his cigarette in one hand and walked up to Shu, kissing him. Shu kissed back with interest, jumping on him and wrapping his short legs around Eiri's waist. Eiri supported him with a hand on the kid's butt. When their kiss broke, Eiri drawled, "We have guests, you know."

"Aww. They aren't paying any attention to us." Shuichi giggled. Eiri sneaked a glance around Shu's pink fuzzy hair. It was true. He'd have to kick those two out of the house before they got carried away. Shu turned Eiri's head so the writer was forced to look back at him.

"You're heavy. Mika's coming over at five and we don't have anything in the house to cook."

"You worry too much. We can just order take out. Then we can have some time to ourselves." Shuichi kissed him again, tongue probing. Definitely time to get rid of the guests, Eiri thought.

Aniki elder brother.

1 'A sutra in a horse's ear' is a Japanese proverb meaning 'a waste of effort'.

2 Darani protective blessings

Author's Notes: I am not Buddhist and I have no intention of offending the faith or anyone who belongs to that faith. I did some research, and received special help from Black Dios, but if I have misrepresented something, it's totally my fault. If I have somehow maligned Buddhist practices, I humbly apologize. I debated for so long whether to present the ceremony or not, for fear of stepping on religious rites I shouldn't be presuming upon. However, Shuichi insisted! . Argh! malicious grin It's not going to save him, either!!


	5. Mika's Problems

Disclaimer: Fairly standard. I'm borrowing Gravitation characters from Maki Murakami for fanfics and fun. Gravitation is shonen-ai and for that reason, (and a bit of swearing) it gets a PG-13 rating. I appreciate all criticism, so please read, enjoy, and review. To those that review: THANK YOU! 

**Bad Luck for Bad Luck?**

Part 5: Mika's Problems

By five o'clock, Tatsuha and Ryuichi were long-gone. Eiri and Shu had managed to have some private time, call take-out, and drag a chair from the study into the kitchen so that Mika could sit at their little kitchen table and eat with them. Now it was just a matter of waiting for Mika and the food to arrive at the door. Eiri was sprawled over the couch, arms draped off the back. Shu was curled up in a ball next to him, head resting against his chest. They were watching a not-so-funny comedy show on TV.

Mika was the first to arrive at about 5:15. She didn't bother to knock or ring the doorbell, either. She never did, unless the door was locked. Eiri heard the door open and slam shut, followed by the distinctive clatter of high heels hitting the wood floor with force. Whoa, he thought, this should be interesting. Shu sat up a little and put his feet on the floor. "Uh, Eiri? Maybe I should— "

"You're not going anywhere," he stated.

"Aw, but she's your sister . . . and she doesn't even really like me!"

"Too bad," Eiri told him. Shuichi muttered something else, but he didn't catch it. It didn't matter; they were both stuck with her. Mika came in carry a valise and unzipping it as she walked. Her eyes looked hard and dangerous. She set the opened valise on the coffee table in front of Eiri, shoving his ashtray to one side. The papers she revealed had official-looking letterheads. He raised one eyebrow in an unspoken question.

"H-Hi, Mika-san," Shuichi greeted her. When her eyes moved to him, he shivered.

She focused on her brother. "These are your copies. I have copies and so does my lawyer. I'm not playing games with Tohma anymore."

Eiri reached for his cigarettes and lit one. He hadn't planned to have another before dinner, but he wanted one now. "Why give these to me?"

"I want you to take care of anything— any details that come up. I trust you to deal with it. I don't want to see him, or talk to him. I'll be out of reach. I'm going home— to Kyoto." Eiri had tried that once—hiding out in Kyoto— but he hadn't escaped. Somehow, Eiri doubted Tohma would be as persistent about finding Mika as Shuichi had been about chasing Eiri.

With trepidation, Shu asked, "Uh . . . you're leaving Seguchi-san . . .?"

"Brilliant!" She applauded him sarcastically, with long, slow clapping. "Eiri, how do you put up with _that_?" He raised his eyebrows. She wasn't usually this nasty about Shu to his face. His lover looked like her words had stabbed him; there was a really hurt look in the kid's eyes and they started to fill. In another minute, he'd be sniveling all over.

Eiri stood up. "Mika, you don't need to come here and take your problems out on him." Shu snuffled, watching brother and sister stare at each other over the coffee table.

Mika looked pouty. "I think he's living with someone," she said, baldly. "Tohma hasn't come home— at least not when I'm there— in over a week. A lot of his clothes are missing, too." Two silent tears fell from one of her eyes.

Eiri wasn't quite sure what to say to that. In a way, he was glad Mika was coming to terms with the idea that Tohma could never be what she wanted him to be. He felt sorry for her that it had taken so many years to come to this conclusion. Then again, he could hardly criticize. . .

Shu's eyes were big with surprise. ". . .But, who? He must be somewhere in Tokyo, 'cuz Seguchi-san has been at NG, everyday, same as always!" Mika turned her back to them and her hands came up to her face. Mika would have been completely certain of her facts before ever going to her lawyer. She would have been thorough about all the details. She knew.

"Let's go to my study," Eiri told her. "Shuichi, a tissue?" Shu gave him a handful. Eiri walked around the table and passed them to Mika. The doorbell rang. "That's probably the food."

"I'm on it!" Shuichi vaulted himself off the couch and went to get the door. Eiri thought the kid was a little too glad to get out of the room and away from Mika.His sister collected herself and used the tissues. Out in the hall, Eiri heard Shu having a brief conversation with the delivery person. When the kid came through the living room, he made a wide circuit around them, heading for the kitchen with the steaming take-out. It smelled good. Eiri realized he was hungry. Then he remembered he hadn't eaten lunch.

With Shu in the kitchen, Eiri said to Mika, "It's someone at NG, someone we all know. Isn't it?"

Mika nodded. "Sakano-san," she whispered. "After all this time . . . I don't even know how long . . ." She pressed the tissues into her face and sobbed. Eiri patted her back, awkwardly. Again, he was at a loss for the 'right thing' to say. He knew there was no 'right thing' to say, and he still tried to come up with something. His task was harder because this didn't surprise him. They both knew Tohma's essential nature. Those two men had been close for a long time. It didn't take a huge stretch of imagination to see them as more than friends.

Eiri asked quietly, "You don't want Shuichi to know?" She shook her head 'no'. He shrugged one shoulder. If Shu figured it out, fine, but Eiri wouldn't tell. "Okay. You should eat something, then." Mika blew her nose and nodded. They walked to the kitchen.

Shuichi watched them both with wide, alert eyes. He had set the table, opened all the little white take-out containers, and poured three bowls of won-ton soup. "Mika-san, can I get you something to drink?"

"Water, please." He nodded and fetched it for her. She threw away the tissues and sat in the third chair— the one that didn't match the other two. Eiri grabbed a beer and settled in his usual place. Light caught on little drops of water hitting the window. He hadn't noticed the rain earlier. Maybe it had just started. Using his chopsticks, he dished up beef and broccoli and rice.

"Here you go!" Shuichi set the water down in front of Mika and sat in his own chair with a glass of juice. "So, uhm, Mika-san? What will you do in Kyoto?"

She was helping herself to sweet and sour chicken. Eiri had ordered it for her because he knew she liked it. Her chin came up a little. She set the container down. Her lips thinned and a small frown appeared between her brows. "I don't know." She took a bite.

Shuichi looked across the table at Eiri, pitying Mika. It was obvious that Shu didn't know what to say, either.

Mika looked straight ahead, out the window. "It's raining," she stated indifferently. A smile twitched at her cheeks and she laughed, bitterly. "It's raining," she repeated. Eiri thought she was cracking. She set her chopsticks down and stood up, kicking her chair back. "Good bye. I guess I'm not really hungry." She left the kitchen.

Shuichi looked at him. "Go on!" He urged. Eiri frowned. Shu huffed, "she needs somebody, just go tell her good bye!" Eiri frowned a little harder at Shu, but chased his sister out into the hallway. He stopped in the living room long enough to pull some tissues from the table in the living room, because he expected Mika would need them.

Mika stood in the foyer with one long leg bent, as she pulled on the sling strap of her high heel shoe. She was crying again. "Mika . . ."

She looked up, putting her feet on the floor and straightening in pride. "It's really over." She gave him a half-hearted smile through her tears and shook her hair back. "Now this dutiful daughter will go back to her father in disgrace." Eiri held out the tissues and she took them, hugging him. "Thank you, brother. Good bye."

He hugged her back. "Good bye, Mika. You know where to find me." She pulled away, nodded, and blew her nose. She understood his offer. Picking up her handbag, she stuffed the tissues in it, flashed him a false smile, and left. In that moment, Eiri hated Tohma. He thought about the swords Ryuichi gave him as 'family protector'. They were displayed in his study. In the Sengoku o-Togi Zoushi 1 he might have challenged Tohma with a blade, to defend his sister's honor. That was seriously out-of-fashion today. Too bad. Somehow, the stack of legalese sitting on the coffee table didn't seem like just compensation. He would take care of it for his sister, as she knew he would.

For now, he would be grateful for what he had. Eiri went back to the kitchen and ate dinner with Shuichi.

1 This is alternately called the 'feudal period' or 'warring states era'.

Author Notes: Big secret revealed, especially for those who read the other fic: Yep. Tohma x Sakano. Surprised? I liked them together in Remix 1 and the pairing makes so much sense when you collect pieces from the manga and put them together . . . Poor Mika.

BTW- I know that at the end of the manga series, Mika & Tohma have a child. I thought about mentioning how now that Tohma had an heir, he didn't need his wife anymore (ouch!), but I don't have enough information to write about the child, so I'm conveniently skipping it.


	6. Death & the Tower

Disclaimer: Fairly standard. I'm borrowing Gravitation characters from Maki Murakami for fanfics and fun. Gravitation is shonen-ai and for that reason, (and a bit of swearing) it gets a PG-13 rating. I appreciate all criticism, so please read, enjoy, and review. To those that review: THANK YOU! 

**Bad Luck for Bad Luck?**

Part 6: Death and the Tower

All through dinner, Shu gabbled about 'their' tarot reading and how Mika's problems with Tohma could be 'The Tower'; causing calamity at NG and trouble for people around them. The kid was full of bizarre speculation about how others were going to react to the news about Seguchi. Eiri ignored most of it, as one of Shu's usual monologues.

"Shuichi, did you think about the fact that if the 'Tower' is bad luck, that it could represent Bad Luck—as in, the name of your band?"

That shut him up. "Hm. I hadn't thought of that." He sounded very thoughtful. "You mean, you don't think terrible things will happen when your sister and Seguchi-san divorce?"

Eiri blew smoke toward the rain-wet window. "Probably not. They're both reasonable adults. They'll let lawyers handle the details and their split will be. . ." as surgical as their marriage. Eiri wondered if it was it just a business deal to Tohma.

"E-Eiri?"

"Hm?"

"What are you so mad about, suddenly?" Shuichi said carefully. "I— did I— " Shuichi looked very unsure of himself.

"It's not you," Eiri assured his lover, gruffly.

Shu breathed a sigh of relief. "Good, 'cuz you looked really scary for a minute, there." Shuichi ate some more food. Then he asked, "Is it Seguchi Tohma? Are you mad at him?"

Eiri killed his cigarette, frowning at its crumpled form in the ashtray. He blew smoke, sighing, "Yes."

Shuichi watched Eiri watching rain for a moment, then the kid finished his dinner. "Eiri? Did Seguchi-san do something bad to Mika?"

Good question. Difficult to answer. Eiri stood up and left the kitchen, knowing Shuichi would clean everything up. He went to his study, shutting the door behind him.

For hours, Eiri lost himself in writing. He polished off his outline and made some minor changes. Then, he started to draft the first chapter. Eiri enjoyed the freshness of starting anew. There was blank screen before him, like a field of new snow, just waiting to be trampled. His fingers clattered across the keyboard, creating the latest story of romantic betrayal. Later in the process, characters may balk at his plans or stray from his outline, but for the first chapter, the writing would simply flow.

Shuichi's hands on his shoulders pulled him out of his trance. He moaned, now aware of sore muscles and wondering how long he'd been sitting there. Shuichi's small hands were good at digging into his shoulder blades and loosening the knots the writer's posture acquired. Eiri let his head fall forward and his eyes slip closed. Shu moved fingers to his neck, pushing away some of the built-up tension. Then, Shu rolled Eiri's chair back and Eiri let his hands drop to his lap. Shu lifted one of Eiri's arms and set it on his shoulder, then settled himself across his lover's lap. Eiri rolled his head around on his neck, stretching. "What time is it, bratt?"

Shuichi waited until Eiri looked at him, then smiled. "Just after midnight."

"Don't you have work in the morning?" Meaning, _shouldn't you be in bed, like a good little boy?_

Shu shrugged and reached out to smooth away Eiri's frown with one thumb. "Are you coming to bed?"

Eiri pulled back from the kid's soothing fingers. "No. I want to work some more." As long as the words keep flowing, I'll stay to get them out of my head and onto the page, Eiri thought. Times like these, when creativity worked . . . they made up for times when he couldn't set one damn word down in a way that satisfied him. It also keeps me from thinking about Mika's problems, he thought. I can loose myself in writing . . . at least for a little while. He knew that Shu understood.

Proving that, Shuichi nodded then leaned forward to kiss his forehead. "Can I bring you some tea before I go to bed?"

"No. Good night." Shu looked at him questioningly, so Eiri kissed him, knowing that's what his lover was after. "Now go to bed," he said with mock-sternness.

Shu smiled and climbed off of him. "Good night," he said, leaving. Eiri smiled and lit a cigarette.

At nearly seven o'clock in the morning, Eiri was snapped into awareness of the present and away from his writing by the ringing telephone. Eiri narrowed tired eyes at it. Who the hell would call before seven am? Shuichi probably wasn't even awake yet. The caller let the phone ring more than four or five times, and Eiri thought they must be really persistent. He clicked the save icon for his work, set his cigarette in the ashtray and answered, cutting off the eighth ring. "Eiri speaking."

"Aniki, you sound tired."

"Hn. What's up, Tatsuha? I've been up all night."

There was a pause and Eiri heard his brother's breathing. "Our father is dead." Eiri sat back in his chair, heavily, causing it to roll away from the desk a little. There was some shock, but it seemed distant. Tatsuha continued, "Mika found him, when she . . . She's . . . not good." Eiri couldn't hear her in the background. It made him wonder. "He died in his sleep, I guess," Tatsuha said. Eiri could tell his brother was smoking.

"Did Mika tell you why she's there?" Eiri asked him.

"No. Does she need a special reason?"

"She's divorcing Tohma."

"That's . . . hmff. She was blaming herself this morning, for the old man's death. That puts another twist on things. If she told him . . .? She got here last night, earlier than I did. I went straight to bed when I got back here. I don't know if she talked with him or not."

"I suppose I should come."

Tatsuha snorted. "Yeah." Eiri listened to his brother smoke for a minute or two. "Yeah," Tatsuha repeated. "Just come." He hung up. Eiri hung up his phone, too. He rolled back in his chair and stood up. He picked up his smouldering cigarette and sauntered toward the kitchen. As he passed the bedroom, he heard the alarm clock and it was rapidly cut off with a groan from Shuichi. Like a sleepwalker, Eiri went to get coffee.

Shu must have set the coffee maker on a timer. The coffee pot was just filling. Eiri jerked the pot away and stuck his mug under the drip until his cup was full. Then he put the pot back where it belonged. He leaned his butt against the counter top and inhaled the dark, welcoming scent. The heat of the mug warmed his cool hands. He realized that his bare feet were freezing. Eiri wasn't sure how long he just stood there. The sight of Shuichi, fresh from the shower, blinking in the early morning light of the kitchen sparked him to move and he stood away from the counter.

Shu's eyes moved to him in surprise. "You're up ear— hey! What's wrong?" Shu came close and looked into his face. "You've been up all night," he accused. "Eiri? What . . .?" Shu pulled his glasses away. Eiri closed his eyes, allowing it. "You . . . you're _crying_?? Eiri . . ." Shu gasped.

Eiri hadn't even realized he was crying. He opened his eyes and set down his still-full mug. He touched Shu's cheek. Sympathetic tears fell from his lover's large blue-violet eyes. "Tatsuha called— just . . . a little while ago. My dad . . . died?" Shuichi folded him in a hug as tight as a straight jacket.

Once again: aniki elder brother.


	7. Awake

**Disclaimer**: Fairly standard. I'm borrowing Gravitation characters from Maki Murakami for fanfics and fun. Gravitation is shonen-ai and for that reason, (and a bit of swearing) it gets a PG-13 rating. I appreciate all criticism, so please read, enjoy, and review. To those that review: THANK YOU!

**Bad Luck for Bad Luck?**

Part 7: Awake

Mika was a wreck. She had accompanied the body to the hospital mortuary and signed official papers confirming the identity of the deceased. She had chosen for him to be dressed in a formal kimono. They all dressed in black; Mika in a conservative black dress, he and Tatsuha in full monk robes, and Shuichi in black pants, shirt, and jacket. Eiri thought the black clothes made everyone look pale, but maybe that was a side-effect of what had happened?

Tatsuha fielded well-wishers and temple visitors. Eiri was uncertain about how to carry off his own role. As eldest son, he carried certain responsibilities. First, he was in charge of the arrangements for the wake and the funeral. He had to name a day for the funeral service, decide on the casket, arrange food and drinks for the guests who came, presents for guests of the wake and the funeral, and make a hundred other small decisions. A Masakuri-san came from the mortuary to record the family's wishes regarding the deceased.

How many times had his duty as a monk brought him to counsel others through a funeral? It was very different from the inside-out. He thought Shuichi was doing enough crying for both of them. Eiri had to stay cool. He stayed busy enough that he didn't even have time to think about all the consequences of his father's death. He directed relatives and friend-of-the-family volunteers and made the decisions for . . . all of it. For some reason, his mind flashed on the tarot card reading from . . . was it only yesterday? The old woman had identified Eiri as 'the decision maker' when she had turned over 'the Emperor'. Thinking of that now, it struck him as oddly funny.

Later in the day, the body was brought in. He was laid out on at table of dry ice in front of the family altar. Plenty of people came and went, already; visiting, offering comfort to the family, some offered to help wherever they could. They all burned incense, rang the altar bell and prayed. The ringing of the bell started to give Eiri a headache toward mid afternoon, a sign that his lack of sleep was beginning to affect him.

He performed the wake ceremony; it was expected of him. Tatsuha could have done it, but something in Eiri told him that it had to be him. They compromised, agreeing Tatsuha would perform the funeral ceremony tomorrow. Lots of people filed in, sitting around the body before the altar. Eiri walked to the altar, ignoring the eyes on him; the sympathetic looks and the piteous ones. He bowed, lit more incense and sat. He began to read the appropriate sutra.

As he read, first Mika, then Tatsuha rose and went to the incense urn, bowed, offered incense, bowed again and went back to where they'd been sitting. Eiri would have gone up after Mika, if he had not been presiding over the ceremony. After family, Shuichi was the next to go up. It made his status uncertain to the other guests— was he family or was he simply quick to follow the family? As far as Eiri was concerned, Shu was family, as much as any spouse would be. He thought the pink-haired man looked extraordinarily solemn and adult as he moved through the ceremony.

Each visitor took a turn paying respects until everyone was done. Then Eiri concluded the sutra and everyone bowed to the altar in a rustle of cloth and quiet, revered movements.

Eiri knew he hadn't made any mistakes, but he felt empty. He thought his father would be proud of him. The old man liked the way he conducted funerary rites. Today, the people and the ritual did not, could not comfort him. Overall, the day passed in a blur of sympathetic, black-clad, well-wishers. People shared fond memories of the old man over the buffet in the other room. The Uesugi patriarch had been a well-respected monk and his many years of service had brought him into contact with many people.

Eiri had set the funeral for the following day. His thought had been to take care of everything as soon as possible. Mika was pissed off with him, claiming he was rushing too much and that it would difficult to contact everyone that should be notified in time for the funeral. She directed a cousin to making phone calls. Eiri wrote the obituary for the newspaper.

It didn't matter to him how many people came, or even if they came. The family patriarch was dead and traveling on toward his next life. With a chill, Eiri realized that he was the Uesugi patriarch now. The thought made his chest hurt and he felt cold. He was glad the ceremony was over, or he might have frozen in the middle of it.

He knew from experience that people would come all day and night. Only their father's closest friends would come to both the wake and funeral, though; most people came to only one. Tomorrow promised to be another long day. Mika cried a lot. On top of the old man's death, she was worried about whether Tohma would come. She didn't want to see him, but they all knew he would come to pay respects to the dead. It was only a matter of when. He would have known about the family death within minutes of Shuichi calling in to NG to say why he would not be coming in to work. Eiri wondered if Tohma would be upset that he didn't hear the news directly from his wife.

That evening, the three siblings prepared to sit with the body over night. Very little was said between them. Shuichi sat beside Eiri in support. Although Shu cried, he had a strength that Eiri needed now. He needed Shuichi's loving presence to keep him going.

At some point in the night, Eiri's lack of sleep caught up to him. When he woke up, he was aware of sunlight and the heavy scent of incense over death.

"You're finally awake," Shuichi said, sighing. His small hand brushed Eiri's hair back from his face and Shu smiled weakly, looking down at him. Eiri was pillowed on his lap. The kid looked tired. "My leg is asleep," Shu said. Eiri sat up and Shuichi stretched his leg out. They were the only ones in the room . . . along with the dead. Eiri must have passed out. He wondered how long had he gone without sleep before crashing? He still felt empty.

"Tatsuha and Mika left around dawn, to take a nap. I volunteered to stay here with you, since one of you has to stay— "

"Shu?" Silenced, Shuichi looked at Eiri, waiting. "I'm glad you're here, with me," the writer said quietly. He reached out and caressed his lover's baby-faced cheek.

The kid grinned, leaning into Eiri's touch. "I love you. I want to be here for you, you know?" Shuichi reminded Eiri of a baby doll, with his legs stretched straight out in a V-shape and his hands placed behind him on the floor to hold him up.

"I know," Eiri said warmly. Shuichi always gave him what he needed, even when he didn't know he needed something, or couldn't acknowledge the need in the first place. Eiri hugged his lover, and was hugged back. Eiri bent his head, taking in the cleaner scent of the singer's hair and his warm, living body. It chased away the other, less pleasant scents in the room and let the world be normal for a moment. Here, in the arms of his young, troublesome, energetic lover Eiri felt whole. He stayed there, holding Shuichi to him until Tatsuha came in.

"Shuichi— oh, you're awake, aniki. Good." Reluctantly, Eiri let go of Shu and stood up. "You have a little time to clean up before the funeral," Tatsuha said, focusing on his brother. "We're still agreed that I'll do the service, right?" Eiri nodded. As eldest son he had certain other participation responsibilities. "Masakuri-san, from the mortuary should be here very soon. I'll take care of things while you clean up." Eiri nodded. "Shuichi-kun?"

"Yes, Tatsuha?"

"Um, Ryu-chan came in late last night . . ." He put one hand on the back of his neck, rubbing it like a worry-stone. "He's pretty upset. He doesn't deal well with funerals, he's normally so happy, but . . ."

Shu smiled at him, comfortingly, "Ryu-kun just wanted to be here for you. I understand that." His eyes flashed to Eiri. He said to Tatsuha, "I'll go see him."

Tatsuha sighed and dropped his hand. "Thank you. I want to be with him, too, but I . . ."

Shu nodded. "I'll look out for him," the kid said. "You have other stuff you need to be doing." He waved to Tatsuha and grabbed onto Eiri's arm. Eiri appreciated the warmth and realized he felt cold without Shuichi wrapped around him. Numbly, he let Shu pull him around the house until they reached the bathroom door. There, Shuichi let go of him. "Take a shower, okay?"

"Since when do you tell me what to do?" Eiri asked, mildly.

Shu smiled and bounced up to kiss him. "Since you need it!" The kid turned and walked away. Eiri watched Shuichi 'til he turned from view. His lover was showing a hidden maturity and Eiri appreciated it. Eiri snorted thinking about how a few days from now, the kid would be bouncing around again and annoying him. He went into the bathroom.

By sound alone it was easy to find Shuichi and Ryuichi. They were singing. Shu's idea of cheering his friend seemed to involve a number of ridiculous children's ditties. Between them, they had quite a repetoire. Eiri peeked into Tatsuha's room to check on them. Ryuichi was hunched over his stuffed rabbit with his arms hugged tightly around his legs. It was a testament to his lung capacity that he could sit in a tight ball like that and still manage power and volume when he sang. The blend of their voices was truly . . . a beautiful sound, Eiri decided. Shu sat with his back to the door, facing Ryu. When their song ended, the sudden quiet seemed to carry a terrible weight.

Shu broke it after a moment, saying, "Ryu-kun, do you believe in luck— good and bad, I mean?"

In a childish voice, Ryuichi asked, "Why, Shuichi?" The older singer frowned. "Is it about the tarot thing?"

Eiri couldn't see Shu's expression, but the kid gave a shuddering sigh and hugged his own shoulders. "I'm afraid that I've done something bad." Shu set his palms on the tatami mat 1, leaning forward and whispering to Ryuichi. Eiri strained to hear. "What if the bad luck was meant for me? What if, by asking for a blessing, I caused bad luck to fall on Eiri and his family? My bad luck wasn't supposed to kill him!" Shu burst into tears again.

Eiri was stunned. _Of all the idiotic, gullible things to worry about!_ He frowned, wondering if he should charge in, admit to eavesdropping, and knock those silly ideas out of Shu's head. He waited to hear what Ryuichi said.

"Shuichi?" Ryuichi relaxed his position, sitting cross-legged, consulting his rabbit. "Kumagorou says that can't happen."

"What do _you_ think, Ryu-kun? Do you think Eiri will be mad at me?" _Only for being a superstitious idiot,_ Eiri thought.

The child-like singer scratched his head, messing up already disarrayed hair. "Kumagorou always gives me good advice," he said finally. "Tatsuha-chan said it . . . just happened." Ryuichi curled in on himself again, closing up around his rabbit.

Shuichi stopped crying and blew his nose. He sat cross-legged and offered, "Want to sing another song?"

"I want to be with Tatsuha," Ryuichi pouted.

Shu nodded. "They're a lot alike," he said thoughtfully. "Eiri and Tatsuha aren't crying. They're letting everyone see how strong they are and taking their duty seriously. Inside, though, they're very sad, and they have all this stuff to do." Shu waved his arms for emphasis. "They've been so busy! I never realized how many people would come, or how many things need to be done. You'd think everyone would try to give them a break and let them . . . just think about it, or something. You know?"

Ryuichi nodded, agreeing. "Tatsuha cried. I know he needs me and Kuma."

Shuichi nodded back. When Ryuichi broke into a child's rhyme about a rabbit, Eiri carefully walked away. They hadn't given any sign of noticing him and Eiri had heard enough. _I'll talk to Shu later_, he thought. Hopefully, the kid wouldn't harbor misplaced guilt over a freaking card game! He shook his head.

Eiri came upon his father's room. The door was open and he could see that someone had taken care of the Makura-kazari. 4 There was a small table draped in a silver altar cloth next to the bedding. On top of the table lay an open flower, a burning stick of incense, a lit candle, a bowl of rice, a dumpling, and water. Eiri entered the room, wondering if a neighbor had done this, or if his sister had. He gently ran his fingers over the old chest of drawers, left of the door. Under the incense, the room smelled like the old man. Eiri stopped himself, turned, and left. Memories of his father stirred like dust, disturbed. Eiri walked away from them.

The family shrine had been covered with white paper to preserve its purity from the impurity of death. The room with the family altar had been cleared, so Eiri walked over to the temple. A funeral altar had been set up in front of the main temple altar. It was covered with fresh flowers and fruits. The casket rested there, too. Tatsuha had already inscribed the kaimyo, or death name 2 and placed the wooden ihai 3 on the altar. Eiri thought his brother had chosen a good name. "Good choice," he said. Tatsuha would know what he meant.

"Thanks," Tatsuha replied. The mortuary people were finishing up, putting away tools and fussing with the flowers. The smell of the flowers and the incense were strong enough to gag on, Eiri thought.

Their father was dressed for his journey, now in white kimono, hood, leggings, and sandals. In the casket, was money for the toll across the River of Three Hells. Cigarettes had been tucked into the dry ice around him. The old man wouldn't want to make a journey without those, Eiri thought with a smirk.

He heard Mika's voice, loud, then breaking, followed closely by Tohma's quiet self-assured tones. He and Tatsuha both looked up. One of them had to stay with the body, so Eiri went to investigate.

"No, Tohma, I don't want you here." Mika was crying and Eiri could hear small shuffling sounds, as if she was shaking off her husband's attempts to hold her. "You— you're not _mine_ anymore!" She hollered, ending in a wrenching sob.

"Mika-san—"He was soothing and pleading at the same time. She wasn't buying.

"NO!" When Eiri came into view, Mika had collapsed to her knees. Her hands covered her ears and her eyes were closed. Eiri went and kneeled in front of her, his back to Tohma. He touched her elbow and she lashed out, sideways. He had figured she would, but when her red, puffy eyes opened, she focused on her brother. Her nose looked sore from crying. "Eiri . . . please?" He understood that Mika wanted him to deal with this, too. One more burden to add to his new collection.

He twisted to face Tohma. Tohma was not smiling. There were times when the man didn't smile, but they were few and far between. The look on his face now was . . . stricken. Eiri stood, keeping himself between the two of them, waiting for Tohma. Eiri pulled out and lit a cigarette, saying with his posture he could wait a long time.

Tohma didn't disappoint. "Eiri-san, I would like to sit with the family." He bowed humbly. Did he have any idea of how much he had hurt Mika? Eiri felt himself scowl as he inhaled and exhaled smoke. Did all the years of their marriage count for this much?

Eiri shook his head, denying Tohma. He held his cigarette and said, "You are in the process of divorce. Tohma, she is Uesugi and you are no longer family." Eiri knew his words hurt Tohma and he meant them.

Unsatisfied, Tohma appealed to Mika, "Please? Mika-san—"

"No, Tohma," she said calmly. She stood, protected behind Eiri's backbone. Under other circumstances, she wouldn't have needed it, but today, Eiri's presence stiffened her resolve. "My brother is right. I have lost my father recently, but I lost you a long time ago, didn't I? Did Sakano-san come with you?" If Eiri had not been watching closely, he may not have seen Tohma's eye twitch. It was answer enough for Mika. She left, turning her back and walking away sedately.

Tohma ruffled his hair with one hand and looked at Eiri. They knew how to read each other from long association. It would be very difficult to say 'friendship' anymore. Briefly, Eiri wondered if the situation might backfire on Shu, at NG Studios. Eiri could tell Tohma was starting to understand how badly he had screwed up. Sitting apart from the Uesugi family would be a public slap in the face to him; a smudge on his honor. "The funeral will be held in the main temple in a short while," Eiri told Tohma blandly. He walked away, temporarily sheltering himself from another emotional confrontation.

---

1 Tatami mats are the bamboo floor pieces in traditional homes and temples.

2 Kaimyo is a special name given to the dead, which elevates him from flesh and blood to spiritual status. Using the deceased's true name would call him back at the wrong time and prevent him from moving forward on his spiritual journey.

3 Ihai is the mortuary tablet, a wooden plaque — not to be confused with a tombstone! After the mourning period it is replaced with one of black lacquer and put in the family shrine, or the case of a monk, maybe the temple.

4 Tradition of decorating the deceased person's bedside.

---

Deep appreciation goes to Billy Hammond, for his article; "Japanese Buddhist Funeral Customs" which had good, specific details about the funerary process.

Author Notes: Another very complex chapter. There are so many details and traditions to a Japanese Buddhist funeral! Depressing! Sorry! I hope it's still a good read.


	8. Resolve

Disclaimer: Fairly standard. I'm borrowing Gravitation characters from Maki Murakami for fanfics and fun. Gravitation is shonen-ai and for that reason, (and a bit of swearing) it gets a PG-13 rating. I appreciate all criticism, so please read, enjoy, and review. To those who do: THANK YOU! 

**Bad Luck for Bad Luck?**

Part 8: Resolve

People began arriving in droves. The funeral was much like the wake; family and then visitors rang the altar bell and offered incense. The clatter of prayer beads was a pervasive sound in the temple while Tatsuha read the sutra. Eiri almost wished he had Shuichi's ability to zone out, ignoring all the little details. His brain didn't stop noticing small things about the atmosphere; the sounds of prayer beads clicking, an occasional loud cough, a flash of light from a lady's earring, or even what clothes people had chosen to wear. Eiri took note of who cried, of who had bored expressions, or who checked their watches covertly. He took it all in, unable to stop. Each detail was searing itself into his memory.

Everyone bowed at the conclusion and Tatsuha sat down. Normally, the ceremonial officiate would have left the room. Eiri's turn came next. He stood and thanked everyone for coming. In a surprisingly clear and steady voice, he read telegrams from friends and relatives expressing their sadness and regrets for the family. He stood aside then, allowing people to have one last view of the old monk and to put flowers in the casket if they wished. When everyone who wanted to was finished, someone from the mortuary came and nailed the coffin shut. It was so final. Eiri felt so very cold.

Everyone stood at attention while the casket was taken away. It was loaded onto the hearse, which resembled a small rolling temple. Mika and Tatsuha climbed into Eiri's car and he drove them all to the crematorium, following the hearse. There, the three of them dutifully watched the casket slide through the portal where it would be burned down to ashes. An attendant locked the portal and handed the key to Eiri. He informed the family they could come back for the remains either this evening, or the following day. On the premise of 'getting it over with', Eiri told the man they would be back in the evening. Then they went home to wait.

The temple was busier than Eiri had ever seen it. Guests scattered themselves all over, throughout the temple and over the grounds. From a bird's eye view, Eiri thought the people would look like a giant splattered blob of ink that spilled from the temple and oozed across the lawn, because of all the people dressed in black.

It was actually a nice day with a sunny sky and high, infrequent clouds and a comfortable January temperature of 56 degrees. The weather mocked the aura of a somber funeral and made the scene a bit surreal. Eiri accepted condolences and shook hands with people; performing a role.

Inside, guests clustered around the catered buffet of otoki, too. 2 Although Eiri didn't feel like eating, Shuichi brought him a plate, encouraging him to eat. Shu whined and nattered at Eiri until he ate just to make Shu happy. Eiri chewed slowly, feeling the texture of the food without tasting it. It was an odd experience, as if his senses were skewed. Shuichi kept flicking worried glances at him and told him absurd work-related stories to fill the repressed crush of silence surrounding him.

Ryuichi seemed happier amidst people. He interacted sociably with the guests, but stayed close to Tatsuha, and kept his rabbit closer. Tatsuha looked like he was performing, as Eiri was. The writer knew the signs. Mika was kept in a protective knot of female relatives. She didn't bother to pretend— she let herself fall apart. The situation was different for men.

Tohma gave his condolences politely to each of them. Then he left. Seguchi could tell that he was no longer welcome here. The old man had liked him well enough before . . . but Eiri wondered if the old man had liked his son-in-law just before he died. Mika wouldn't say whether she had talked to their father about the impending divorce.

As the day wound down, the guests trickled away. The aunt and two cousins who had manned the reception table presented Eiri with the registry book where each guest and gift had been carefully recorded. Eiri also accepted the _koden_, or condolence money, on behalf of the family. The envelope holding the money was wrapped neatly with a thin black and white ribbon. Everything about this day was steeped in symbolism, Eiri thought. Each visitor would have contributed to the final sum written on the envelope itself. Eiri figured it would take the better part of the week to send small thank you gifts and notes of appreciation to those who attended.

Eiri thanked, and paid or tipped all of the people who had contributed to the ceremony, or helped the family during the past couple of days. Their faces were recognizable, but meaningless to him in the sea of blackness. It seemed as if the day had passed in an avalanche of stillness in his mind. Eiri reflected on the event as he stood by the pond, smoking. The sun was setting and he felt very calm; detached. Everything had simply crashed around him, leaving him cold, but solid, in the wake of motion and industry. He felt a bit like an amateur puppet master; in charge of his own body, but in a distant, slightly clumsy way.

"Eiri?" Shuichi came to stand at his side. Eiri didn't think the kid was asking a question. It sounded more like asking permission to be close. He reached out and put one arm around Shu's shoulders, holding him comfortably. His lover snuggled against him, wrapping arms loosely around his waist.

"Not much has really changed," Eiri mused aloud. Shu shifted against him and Eiri elaborated. "Tatsuha will run the temple now. We'll go back to Tokyo and . . . everything will go on as before."

"That's not really true, Eiri. It'll be a lot different— at least for Tatsuha. For Mika, too. She planned to come back home to live away from Seguchi Tohma. Now that your father is gone, isn't a big chunk of home gone, too? It's no wonder she's so lost," Shu said sadly. He paused and asked, "Isn't it really different for you, too, Eiri? I know it would be really weird for a while for Maiko and I if something happened to our mom or dad— and you guys only had your dad."

_He's right_, Eiri thought. He sank down on the grass, bringing Shuichi with him. Shu sat in his lap like a child and they both looked over the pond, watching the red flickers of sunset fade to darkness in companionable silence. They were each giving and getting comfort in being together. There was no indecision in Eiri tonight, about whether he did or did not want Shu with him.

"It's not your fault, you know," Eiri told him quietly.

"Huh?"

"Bad luck."

Shuichi moved, turning to face him with large blue-violet eyes that shined even in the dim light of the house's lanterns. "Eiri? Do you believe in bad luck?"

Eiri smirked and blew smoke, answering, "Only as a band name."

"Then you don't think I caused problems for you?" Shu didn't even question why Eiri had broached the subject. The singer was probably used to Eiri figuring things out before the kid told him. "If I hadn't asked you guys for a blessing, then maybe I would have suffered the consequences of my own— "

"Shut up. Listen," Eiri ordered. Shuichi looked at him, waiting. Eiri had decided that in order to convince his gullible idiot lover of his own innocence, he would turn the tarot woman's words back on her. "Weren't the tarot cards for both of us, 'the Lovers'?"

"Well, yeah . . ."

"And aren't you suffering now, for my sake?"

"No!" He protested, "I chose to be here for you! I'm not suffering— "

"You're not having fun, either."

"Uh, no . . ."

"What if something bad had happened to you?" It hurt to even think about that. He held Shu against himself. "That could have been worse."

"Uh, maybe . . ."

Eiri nodded. "That hag said that the bad luck would come from outside sources, right? She never said that it was your fault or that you would cause trouble. Did she?"

"I- I guess not."

"And didn't she say something about a good outcome after disaster?" Eiri couldn't really see a good outcome from his father's death, unless it was the fact that his dad would stop badgering him about certain things . . .

"Did she?" Eiri nodded. Shu rested his head against Eiri's shoulder, relaxing his body. "You're right. You usually are. I'm glad you're not mad at me. I didn't want to cause trouble for the old man, 'cuz I thought he was kind of alright, even though he did try to get you to marry Ayaka," Shuichi's voice started to rise with his remembered outrage. ". . . And he was always trying to get you to shave your head . . . !" Shu reached up to touch Eiri's blond hair. Old Uesugi had always seen his eldest son's coloration as 'un-Japanese', but Shuichi was enamored with it— with everything about him. Eiri kissed his lover, reaching out to touch the singer's soft, unnaturally pink hair. This action not only shut the kid up; it let Eiri express how much he loved Shuichi without words.

Before returning to the crematorium, Eiri changed into regular black clothes, and so did Tatsuha. The monk performance was over for now. Eiri didn't want to look at those robes right now. Shuichi and Ryuichi stayed behind, at the house. Strangely, he did not have any misgivings about leaving the two bizarre singers temporarily in charge of the house and temple. Both of them had been subdued today. Still, Eiri wished he could bring Shu along. Only family were permitted.

At the crematorium, the portal was unlocked and the ashes were slid out. It was all very . . . sterile, simplistic. An attendant passed out little paper-wrapped packages of plain wooden chopsticks to each family member. The man scooped ash into the urns they had chosen and stood over the siblings, pointing out the important bone fragments from feet to head. Using the chopsticks, Eiri picked up each piece and passed it directly to Mika's chopsticks. She then passed the bone directly to Tatsuha's chopsticks and he laid each piece into the urns that would be the old man's final corporeal resting place. The most important part was the adam's apple, because it had the shape of Buddha. That part was placed carefully on the top of collection and then a skull fragment topped it off. They filled the two urns simultaneously in this manner. The urn with the adam's apple would go in the temple and the other one would be placed next to their mother's remains in the small family graveyard out back. The attendant stuck lids on each urn and they were wrapped in white cloth.

The family took the urns home, placing one in the temple with the remains of the other Uesugi patriarchs who had run this temple through the ages. The second urn would rest in the house until the tombstone was ready. Eiri had made arrangements for one with space inside of it for the urn. He would have to set up and post a schedule for gravesite visitation. Maybe Tatsuha should? Eiri only wanted to return to Tokyo and put this behind him. He was good at forgetting about things he didn't want to remember. If Eiri left, though, he would have to come back to Kyoto for the seventh day purification ritual. Considering how much still had to be taken care of here between now and then, Eiri doubted there was any point in going home yet.

He didn't want to be here, but he didn't see much choice around it. Fortunately, this place would be Tatsuha's responsibility soon and Eiri would be able to walk away from it entirely. Since his father's death, the temple gave Eiri the creeps more than ever. It had always seemed like a heavy, burdensome place. Now, it was like . . . an empty, gutted place in addition to being a burden. He would be glad to leave.

Laying the urn in its temple resting place, Eiri's thoughts took a morbid turn. In the future, Tatsuha would be put in the temple, too. Eiri's own remains would probably be stuck in the ground with family. What about Shuichi? Eiri wondered with a sudden pang. His father's funeral made Eiri consider how ephemeral life was. Aspects of familial status were disturbing to Eiri, too. Shuichi had been excluded from the kotsuage 3 and from taking part in the funeral directly, as family. Eiri felt Shu was entitled to the status of a spouse for formal situations like this, but tradition said Shu wasn't officially Uesugi, no matter how well he was accepted by the immediate family. If something happened to Eiri, customs would force Shuichi into the role of 'friend'. That was unacceptable, Eiri decided. Shuichi was too precious to Eiri to be denied formal relationship status. Eiri resolved to find a way to fix this oversight. _As if I don't have enough to think about, _Eiri scolded himself.

1 56 F 13 C

2 Otoki vegetarian dishes traditionally served at memorial services.

3 Kotsuage gathering of the ashes.


	9. Reflections

Disclaimer: Fairly standard. I'm borrowing Gravitation characters from Maki Murakami for fanfics and fun. Gravitation is shonen-ai and for that reason, (and a bit of swearing) it gets a PG-13 rating. I appreciate all criticism, so please read, enjoy, and review. To those who do review: THANK YOU!! 

**Bad Luck for Bad Luck?**

Part 9: Reflections

In the days following the funeral, Eiri's predictions about keeping busy came true. He wrote thank you notes until his hands burned like they did after marathon book signings. Shuichi was there for him, to massage feeling back into his fingers. Eiri put Mika in charge of thank you gifts. Tatsuha arranged the purification ceremony, the hon-ihai 1, the placement of the tombstone, and a schedule for graveyard visitations. Eiri and his siblings met with the lawyers several times. It seemed as if they needed dozens of copies of death certification. There were all kinds of legal documents that had to be dealt with: property title transfers, car registration, billing name changes, banking records, life insurance, their father's will and the intended inheritance, and the corresponding inheritance tax.

Only three and a half months ago, their father had changed his will, acknowledging Tatsuha as heir to the temple. It had been done exactly after Eiri's last visit home. For Eiri, it was a bittersweet win to an old argument. Before meeting the lawyers, he had wondered if he was going to have to extra trouble by denying his father's will and ceding the temple to Tatsuha or by accepting it and later transferring the temple to his brother. He certainly didn't want it.

Eiri took care of all the funeral expenses. He had the money and he could afford it. It was easier, too. . . Most of Mika's money would be tied up with connections to Tohma and divorce settlement issues. Tatsuha was technically still a minor; his personal savings were not enough to cover the costs and it would take a little time to complete all of the financial inheritance transfers. As far as Eiri was concerned, Mika and Tatsuha could split the condolence money. They had the greater need.

While they were at lawyer meetings, or otherwise occupied, Shuichi and Ryuichi kept each other occupied. Eiri suspected they had written two CDs worth of music, at least. They could usually be found in back, by the pond, singing and tumbling around on the grass like kids— if the weather was fair. He and Tatsuha liked to watch them from the back porch, while they smoked cigarettes together. Their lovers' cheerfulness, while not precisely contagious, was . . . good to see. Eiri wondered ironically if his parents had watched his siblings and him play like that. The two men romping in the yard were not children, though. Technically, they were adults in adult relationships and both were capable of being fathers! Scary thought, Eiri chided himself. Very scary thought.

The house felt very strange. Mika, Tatsuha, and Eiri were the adults now. There was no more parental supervision to tell them to 'stop', 'behave', 'be quiet', or 'stop running'. At the same time, with all three of them (temporarily) living here, it was easy to remember childhood. It was . . . just strange.

Eiri spent time in the temple in meditation and prayer. He thought about his father, making his spiritual journey. He thought about his father in life. He hadn't gotten along with the old man in years. When Eiri turned his back on his early training . . . no, it had begun earlier than that. The old patriarch had never liked his blond hair and odd golden eyes from the start, but Eiri was the eldest boy. The old man probably felt it necessary to mold Eiri into the proper son.

When Eiri had returned from New York, that time, the temple was no longer what he wanted. He hadn't been interested in pleasing his father anymore. That was when the real problems between father and son had become apparent. Eiri had struck out and done exactly what he wanted to do. Only a few months ago had Eiri really felt like the old man had come to terms with the difference between what Eiri was willing to give and what the patriarch had wanted out of his eldest son.

Eiri thought about Mika and Tohma, too. Mika had a great deal of inner strength. Her wounds would heal and scar. Eiri thought this week must be extra painful for her. Besides the obvious troubles of death and divorce, everyday she watched her brothers and their lovers. They were warmed and supported. It must feel like salt in fresh wounds to climb into bed at night and hear soft, loving sounds down the hall from where she slept alone. Mika had no one's arms for company and she wasn't accepting comfort from any of the four men in the house.

When Tatsuha and he had been unsuccessful, Ryu and Shu had tried to help console her. Shu, in particular, had tried to get her to talk. The two of them wound up screaming hurtful things at each other. Eiri wondered if Mika knew how much that had helped her. Eiri was pretty sure that Shu had no clue how helpful he'd been. Since the funeral, Mika had refused to cry. Instead, she bottled up her complex grieving. If screaming at Shu was her only outlet . . . so be it. Eiri would continue to offer the kid up for his sister to yell at. It seemed to be the only way to make Mika feel better and release her emotions. Besides, it was easy for Eiri to cheer Shuichi up and the singer was quick to forgive.

Thinking about Tohma, on the other hand . . . Eiri wondered why people believed that man's friendly smile and soft words. He was, and always had been, a shark. Maybe Seguchi was happy with Sakano? Eiri hoped so, because Tohma had burned his bridges behind him. Eiri didn't like how Mika had had to get burned in the process. He reluctantly decided that he could forgive Tohma for finally following his own desires, but would not forgive Tohma for his sister's pain.

Eiri thought about his own life and Shuichi's place in it. He could never keep his mind from Shu for very long. The singer was indelibly tied into everything Eiri did now. In the events following his father's death, Eiri had been feeling a kind of compulsion to formalize the bond between Shu and himself. It could not be done between two men under Japanese law. He smirked, thinking Shu might— hell, definitely _would_— be willing to cross-dress again for the sake of a wedding, but that wasn't what Eiri really wanted. He loved Shuichi as a male. On the couple of occasions the idiot had cross-dressed, it was just another form of hiding, or masking the truth; it was a lie. Eiri didn't want lies between them. He never did. This was no exception. He would try to find an honest way.

On the seventh day after the old man's death, the family held the purification ceremony. It was sort of an oxymoron, since Buddhists did not believe that death was 'impure'— death was simply one stage of the life process. Nevertheless, the custom was probably one that was older than Buddhism in Japan and had been co-opted as a part of funerary traditions. As with the kamidana-fuji, 2 they still practiced the purification ceremony.

It was a simple ceremony, primarily for the family and those who dwelled in the house of the deceased person. It consisted of washing hands, using the kiyome-shio, or purification salt, and reading sutras. Tatsuha lead the ceremony. To Eiri, it signaled freedom to return to his own life in Tokyo.

He would have to return to Kyoto again on the forty-ninth day after death for the _kiake_, to signal the end of the mourning period. On that day, their father's spiritual journey into eternity would be complete. Then, the final memorial service would take place. The mourning banners on the house and all the other trappings of bereavement could also be taken down that day. Eiri was glad he was not going to be living under those banners for the next 49 days. It would be bad enough wearing unrelieved black for that time period.

Until then, Eiri had a life in Tokyo waiting to be picked up. He hadn't touched his laptop all week. He hadn't even been thinking about the book that had begun so easily. He knew Shuichi was eager to go home, too. The kid wanted to get inside a recording studio again. Shu was inordinately proud of his latest lyrical drivel. Even Eiri had to admit that Sakuma had been a good influence on Shu's song writing. Eiri still told his lover it was crap, but he didn't think Shu believed him, since the kid had leaped on him with hugs and kisses when he'd spoken. I can only blame myself, Eiri thought, for smiling when I gave him my opinion. Tone of voice gave me away, too. Eiri wondered what might have happened if he had actually said Shu's lyrics were good? He was usually Shu's worst critic. He sighed.

Eiri reflected on the tarot card reading. He had to admit that that woman had been turned out right about a few things. . . It couldn't be denied that Shuichi and he were lovers and they did indeed have a strong relationship. Eiri remembered the Death card with its gruesome skeletal warrior and black flag. He could picture the disaster-struck black-brick Tower card, too. Misfortune had certainly come to pass, and several changes. Shuichi was still a constant, though; he continued to plow through life foolishly, without thinking too hard about consequences and he kept reaching for the world. He would keep traveling, working hard, and inspiring others. Eiri was still the Emperor; the decision maker. He smiled wryly. It didn't really matter. The past was the past; the future ahead of them. _I don't believe in fate_, he reminded himself.

1 Hon-ihai this is the permanent plaque which replaces the wooden ihai.

2 The practice of covering the family shrine with white paper to protect it from the impurity of death.

Author's Notes: Yep, this is a wrap. It's a good place to stop. I'm going to go onto the next story-line. . . I hope you all enjoyed it.


End file.
